frazzled???

so last night we all passed out just after 9, then the dreams started.


i started dreaming of us having a nice family day, just Kev, Aedan & myself. we went to the gardens, saw a movie then we went to the waterfront. whilst at the waterfront Kev & I were laughing & joking with Aedan, and we even posed for a nice family photo.

somehow Aedan slipped throught the railings & fell in the water, I jumped in frantically trying to find my baby. Then Kev jumped in giving me time to catch my breath again. eventually sea rescue got there & they found my boys lifeless body....

everytime as they hand us his lil body i wake up. turn around & fall back asleep in hope that i will dream something else & then it starts all ova again. So today i'm freaking tired

WHY is it that dreams like this leave me all frazzled?
i'm now even more scared of loosing my baby boy & well as Kev said this morning we wont be going to the waterfront any time soon again...


i cant stop thinking about how i felt when they called me the night when Nikita passed & at the same time i know that if something were to happen to Aedan i would not be able to deal with the loss of a child the 2nd time around.

maybe its because i havent really been thinking about her the past couple of weeks that this is now hounding me or even the fact that it feels like i've forgotten her to a certain extent.

only time will tell